alexandraerin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
alexandraerin) wrote2009-08-14 05:33 pm
alexandraerin) wrote2009-08-14 05:33 pm
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So, I haven't been doing a good job of following the doctor's advice or my own on the subject of productive uses of time and energy.
I also can't find my PDA, and I just realized today that I also can't find (and haven't been taking) my sleep aids that seem to have a beneficial effect on my moods. Those are easy enough to replace now that I know they're missing, but I think it's part of the big picture... and the big picture is that despite the not entirely negative news about my health, I've been finding myself in a funk.
The worst part of this is experiencing writer's block, which is not something that generally afflicts me. I can find myself written into a corner that requires some creative maneuvering, I can find myself distracted from writing... being able to sit down and stare at the screen and not being able to write... that's new. That's different and weird and frightening.
I think it's over.
The last time I noticed my age it was to make the note that I'd turned 29 and had already surpassed my goals for 30. I still didn't feel 29. I'm sure I'm not the only person at the deep end of their 20s who still catches herself thinking of herself essentially as a child. Having a doctor talk to me about my heart and my blood pressure was... I don't think I've fully processed that yet.
And yet I've got so much going on that I shouldn't be letting it get me down, much less stopping me from doing what I want to do. I had my first online D&D game night this week and it went wonderfully. I thought that would be enough to shake me out of things. It was, but not for very long. I think if I stick with it, it'll be good for me. D&D is my non-writing outlet (though there's a lot of overlap), and for the past year or so since 4E came out, I've kind of been experiencing it in bursts of 4-10 days every few months. A few hours every week seems like a more balanced approach than that.
Meh. Enough mopey-mope. It's Friday. I've hardly written anything this week if you don't count non-fiction (angry screeds and gaming stuff), but I'll have something special for everyone to read tomorrow (something I started writing to break my block, then switched to Tales of MU once I was rolling) and next week is a new week.
...
Hey, things are looking up. I found my PDA.
I also can't find my PDA, and I just realized today that I also can't find (and haven't been taking) my sleep aids that seem to have a beneficial effect on my moods. Those are easy enough to replace now that I know they're missing, but I think it's part of the big picture... and the big picture is that despite the not entirely negative news about my health, I've been finding myself in a funk.
The worst part of this is experiencing writer's block, which is not something that generally afflicts me. I can find myself written into a corner that requires some creative maneuvering, I can find myself distracted from writing... being able to sit down and stare at the screen and not being able to write... that's new. That's different and weird and frightening.
I think it's over.
The last time I noticed my age it was to make the note that I'd turned 29 and had already surpassed my goals for 30. I still didn't feel 29. I'm sure I'm not the only person at the deep end of their 20s who still catches herself thinking of herself essentially as a child. Having a doctor talk to me about my heart and my blood pressure was... I don't think I've fully processed that yet.
And yet I've got so much going on that I shouldn't be letting it get me down, much less stopping me from doing what I want to do. I had my first online D&D game night this week and it went wonderfully. I thought that would be enough to shake me out of things. It was, but not for very long. I think if I stick with it, it'll be good for me. D&D is my non-writing outlet (though there's a lot of overlap), and for the past year or so since 4E came out, I've kind of been experiencing it in bursts of 4-10 days every few months. A few hours every week seems like a more balanced approach than that.
Meh. Enough mopey-mope. It's Friday. I've hardly written anything this week if you don't count non-fiction (angry screeds and gaming stuff), but I'll have something special for everyone to read tomorrow (something I started writing to break my block, then switched to Tales of MU once I was rolling) and next week is a new week.
...
Hey, things are looking up. I found my PDA.