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News of the Day

I figured out a fundraiser that I think will be 1) fun for myself and the readers (if a little bit scary for me, but in a way that will help boost my confidence for things like public speaking) and 2) not add to the backlog of writing that I need to get done. If I accomplish my goals for the week I'll be announcing it when I post the second chapter for the week on Friday.

I keep worrying about the timing and people's perceptions and all that, but the only antidote to that worry is to plunge ahead and get my life back on track.

(To new folks reading my blog for various reasons: the "fundraiser" I speak of is a routine part of my work as a crowdfunded author, not related to any ongoing circumstances or crisis.)

State of the Me

I'm feeling more myself today, and what I've been realizing in the past 24 hours is how much of myself... the parts of me that work... I've let slip away. Right up until WisCon, I was doing daily breathing exercises and meditation and that was a huge part of the energy and confidence boost that gave me the creativity explosion. That's gone. A daily regimen that includes the supplements that keep my mind focused (but not *too* focused) and metabolism ticking along is gone. The habit of reading for pleasure again (such a useful habit for a writer to have!) is gone.

So much gone.

So today I'm starting to take all that back.

Tasks For Today

• Start K&DR #1
  
• Work on Star Harbor episode 1.
  
• Go over TOMU chapter in progress with an eye towards figuring out what must be done to it for finishing and posting it tomorrow.
  

Construction Post: K&DR 1

4:00-4:30 ~ 400 words

( Work in progress. Spoilers )

I'm adding these two Wikipedia articles to the lists of things I wish I'd read a year ago..

Malignant narcissism:

The malignant narcissist is presented as pathologically grandiose, lacking in conscience and behavioral regulation with characteristic demonstrations of joyful cruelty and sadism".

...

Malignant narcissists, in contrast to psychopaths, are also said to be capable of developing "some identification with other powerful idealized figures as part of a cohesive 'gang'...which permits at least some loyalty and good object relations to be internalized". "Some of them may present rationalized antisocial behavior - for example, as leaders of sadistic gangs or terrorist groups...with the capacity for loyalty to their own comrades".

...

Typically in the analysis of the malignant narcissist, "the patient attempts to triumph over the analyst by destroying the analysis and himself or herself".

Narcissistic supply:

The term narcissistic supply was employed by psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg as part of his description of what he called the malignant narcissist. Kernberg referred to the coldness in a such narcissist's relationships as the "tendency to disregard others except in temporary idealization of narcissistic supply" and he suggested that this was a feature which distinguished pathological from normal narcissism.

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Those who are providers of narcissistic supply may find themselves being treated as if they are a part of the narcissist. "In the mind of a narcissist, there is no boundary between self and other."

Edit: Note, this is not an attempt to diagnose anyone with anything, especially as neither term is an actual diagnosis. But they refer to and describe patterns of behavior that can be hard to spot when one is enmeshed/immersed in a situation, so having them pointed out or described can be helpful.

Purina ONE pet food recall.

Details here.