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October 10th, 2014
Oct. 10th, 2014 06:32 pmThe Daily Report
A lot of my struggles in the past several years have involved trying to be creative when emotionally numb, when at a constant low ebb of emotional energy... not sad, just not much of anything. Right now I'm having the opposite problem, which is how to do anything when I am a seething cauldron of emotions that changes from day to day. I'm not sure I approve of it.
In the past three weeks--and it's weird to think that it will only have been three weeks tomorrow--I've had a mix of good days and bad days, and my strategy has been basically to try to seize on the good days and turn them into a pattern, like, "Oh, we're done with that now. Time to move on." It's not really been working. You can see this pattern in my status posts for this week, which started with "This is the week things get back to normal" and ended up with days without status posts.
But at the same time as I acknowledge that, I don't want to... I can't... quit trying to move forward. So I feel like the thing to do now is to scale back my expectations in general, so that on the good days I can relax a bit and on the bad days I have goals that feel more attainable.
In accordance with this, I've just announced a schedule change on the Tales of MU website, from the every other week day approach that served me so well right up to the suckerpunch fate delivered to a straight Tuesday/Thursday schedule. I'm not going to stop in my efforts to write four chapters a week, I'm just easing the pressure on delivery a bit. The chapters that had the benefit of being in the backlog hopper for days or weeks before being posted were just so much objectively better than what I can manage writing day by day.
Anyway, that's the news for today: going to slow things down a bit for the rest of the month, and see how things stand afterwards.
A lot of my struggles in the past several years have involved trying to be creative when emotionally numb, when at a constant low ebb of emotional energy... not sad, just not much of anything. Right now I'm having the opposite problem, which is how to do anything when I am a seething cauldron of emotions that changes from day to day. I'm not sure I approve of it.
In the past three weeks--and it's weird to think that it will only have been three weeks tomorrow--I've had a mix of good days and bad days, and my strategy has been basically to try to seize on the good days and turn them into a pattern, like, "Oh, we're done with that now. Time to move on." It's not really been working. You can see this pattern in my status posts for this week, which started with "This is the week things get back to normal" and ended up with days without status posts.
But at the same time as I acknowledge that, I don't want to... I can't... quit trying to move forward. So I feel like the thing to do now is to scale back my expectations in general, so that on the good days I can relax a bit and on the bad days I have goals that feel more attainable.
In accordance with this, I've just announced a schedule change on the Tales of MU website, from the every other week day approach that served me so well right up to the suckerpunch fate delivered to a straight Tuesday/Thursday schedule. I'm not going to stop in my efforts to write four chapters a week, I'm just easing the pressure on delivery a bit. The chapters that had the benefit of being in the backlog hopper for days or weeks before being posted were just so much objectively better than what I can manage writing day by day.
Anyway, that's the news for today: going to slow things down a bit for the rest of the month, and see how things stand afterwards.