(no subject)
Dec. 9th, 2009 08:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alexandraerinIt's possible my computer will arrive today. It's scheduled for delivery today, the tracking says it's on schedule. It's listed as still being in Lenexa, Kansas, though... generally for something to arrive today, it would have left Lenexa last night. We are having a bit of weather, so I'm not going to be surprised if it's delayed.
I didn't sleep so well last night because I wanted to make sure I was awake. FedEx is known to show up here anywhere between just before nine to fairly late in the evening. We're right near the facility the delivery trucks originate from, so it is possible for them to get here way early. So, I skipped the sleep supplements for one night. Between that and the howling wind/bitter cold leaking in through my window, it wasn't a great night.
You know, during the initial discussion on the Leda and Steff storyline, when the "rape vs. bad sex" argument came up a reader said, "Hey, let's settle this by asking the author if it was meant to rape.", I said something to the effect of, "I presented the situation. Judging it's up to you." That's how life works. Even when you have all the facts, you still have to put them together and come to a conclusion. But it's with considerable distaste that I read things "It wasn't rape, it was just sex that didn't stop when one person said stop." (a paraphrase) on a venue that's attached to my work and name.
Likewise any variation on "Well, Steff said no but her body's physical response said otherwise." Genitals don't consent, people do. I hope the people who are posting that know that victims' states of apparent physical arousal have been raised by defense attorneys in rape trials trying to argue that it was consensual.
Comments arguing with either of the above points will be deleted and... because I've given warning... met with bannination. Why? Because I'm a controlling harpy who can't stand dissent, of course... no, it's because I'm not having a debate about what is or isn't rape on my own Livejournal, thank you very much. Go tell it to Whoopi because I don't want to hear it.
The last time I clamped down on a topic in the story discussion like this, I had one person miss the point entirely and lambast me for putting the feelings of non-existent people over the rights of real people to free discussion... but this is a real thing. Rape is not a hypothetical construct of fictitious worlds. The events under discussion aren't real but the rubrics people are constructing to interpret it are, and they have real consequences.
Ugh. That's so not how I wanted to start my day.
I didn't sleep so well last night because I wanted to make sure I was awake. FedEx is known to show up here anywhere between just before nine to fairly late in the evening. We're right near the facility the delivery trucks originate from, so it is possible for them to get here way early. So, I skipped the sleep supplements for one night. Between that and the howling wind/bitter cold leaking in through my window, it wasn't a great night.
You know, during the initial discussion on the Leda and Steff storyline, when the "rape vs. bad sex" argument came up a reader said, "Hey, let's settle this by asking the author if it was meant to rape.", I said something to the effect of, "I presented the situation. Judging it's up to you." That's how life works. Even when you have all the facts, you still have to put them together and come to a conclusion. But it's with considerable distaste that I read things "It wasn't rape, it was just sex that didn't stop when one person said stop." (a paraphrase) on a venue that's attached to my work and name.
Likewise any variation on "Well, Steff said no but her body's physical response said otherwise." Genitals don't consent, people do. I hope the people who are posting that know that victims' states of apparent physical arousal have been raised by defense attorneys in rape trials trying to argue that it was consensual.
Comments arguing with either of the above points will be deleted and... because I've given warning... met with bannination. Why? Because I'm a controlling harpy who can't stand dissent, of course... no, it's because I'm not having a debate about what is or isn't rape on my own Livejournal, thank you very much. Go tell it to Whoopi because I don't want to hear it.
The last time I clamped down on a topic in the story discussion like this, I had one person miss the point entirely and lambast me for putting the feelings of non-existent people over the rights of real people to free discussion... but this is a real thing. Rape is not a hypothetical construct of fictitious worlds. The events under discussion aren't real but the rubrics people are constructing to interpret it are, and they have real consequences.
Ugh. That's so not how I wanted to start my day.
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no subject
on 2009-12-09 03:12 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-12-09 07:25 pm (UTC)Good for you.
no subject
on 2009-12-09 08:19 pm (UTC)Good luck with the PC
no subject
on 2009-12-09 09:55 pm (UTC)Congrats on your computer. May the DnD recommence (even though I'm not in it *sniff tear*).
no subject
on 2009-12-09 10:17 pm (UTC)I remember reading somewhere that during intercourse, forced or not, a woman's body will produce lubrication simply to prevent damage to the body.
Exactly as you say, it's not genitals but all of the person who gives consent. If the mouth says "no," then it's time to stop.
no subject
on 2009-12-10 01:03 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-12-10 02:45 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-12-10 05:54 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-12-10 08:06 pm (UTC)I'm not having a good enough set of days to be fair.
no subject
on 2009-12-11 12:27 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-12-11 05:45 am (UTC)I'm saying it wasn't rape because Steff verbalized "please don't stop" and everything about the story makes it seem as though she meant it. I know for a fact it's possible to rape a man (or someone with a penis) because it happened to a friend of mine - he passed out drunk and woke up with a girl riding him.
It's not the erection that makes it not-rape, it's the fact that Steff (IMO) gave her consent when she said "please don't stop." She wanted it to continue.
At the outset (when Leda started) it could have gone either way. If Steff had said "please stop" when Leda got on her, or anything synonymous with that, it would be rape. But she didn't. She said "keep going." That's consent.
no subject
on 2009-12-14 01:12 pm (UTC)Like say I consent to have sex with someone, and we do it and everything is great, but then the next day, they want to have sex again but I don't, and so I say "no" in that instance, if the other person were to continue, would that not be rape because I had consented the day before? There's no difference, really.
no subject
on 2009-12-17 02:38 am (UTC)I replaced the comment on my own Livejournal entry, which is also open to public. I have no desire to drum up views or anything (nothing on there worth viewing but this comment anyway), but I do wish to continue this discussion with interested parties.
To AE - sorry about missing the part about not having thie debate on your LJ, earlier.