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alexandraerinStarted: 5/18/2011
Status: Rough Draft
Word Count: ~1800
Hours Writing: 2
Note: This is the beginning of my draft for Working Class Villain, the follow-up to The Gift of the Bad Guy. If you haven't read that latter book yet this contains some mild spoilers. You can fortify yourself against them by buying the first book from me (PDF and EPUB formats) or Amazon (Kindle format), for a mere 99 cents.
Please note that comments are turned off for a reason... right now I'm posting this for the benefit of the interested/curious rather than to solicit feedback. At this point in the process that would be like asking for directions without telling anyone where I'm heading.
Yesterday, I robbed a bank in the mall.
There was nothing personal about it. It's just my job. It's what they pay me to do. And when I say they, I mean the bank. This was by invitation
They also invited Red Ranger, the guy who took me down. I don't hold that against them. Or against him. It's all part of the gig. When you're a professional villain, you're just born to lose.
Anyone without a clue how the world of heroes and villains really works would probably wonder why the bank would hire someone to rob it. The answer of course is so the good guy has someone to beat. It's a paradox of human nature, but if I show up in my mask and costume and get beat down then everyone assumes the bank is safer than if nobody ever tried to rob it.
It's like those old commercials where they shoot a lock with a sniper rifle. Seeing someone take the shot and failing is more reassuring than being told how tough it is.
The whole thing's a performance. Street theater, basically. Cinéma vérité without the film. Even with some gifted few individuals suddenly showing powers and abilities beyond the ken of mortals, the world still doesn't work like it does in the comic books. So we use a combination of TV shows and live appearances to give people what they expect, and maybe what they need.
[Okay, the above took me a lot of time to write. I'm wrestling with how much intro/recap to do. I think I'm going to go on and plow ahead with the rest with the assumption that everybody who's reading it is reading it after the first book, as though it were a literal continuation... one runs right into the other. When I'm done I'll go back and weave some refreshers in as needed.]
I have to wonder sometimes what runs through the heads of the journalists who cover our capers.
It's possible to get so immersed in the behind-the-scenes stuff and the forums full of people analyzing footage of our fights that you forget that there are people out there who actually buy what we sell them. There are some people who are genuinely fooled. There are some people who go along because they want it to be real. I consider both of those groups to be the True Believers. Then there are the people who play along with a wink and a nod, like they're telling their kids about Santa Claus and the stork.
It doesn't seem like reporters should fall into any of those groups. You can't understand enough about how the world actually works to be an investigative reporter and still be taken in by our little shows.
The police did not arrest an individual identifying herself as Lady Larceny yesterday. No such individual would appear before a judge or be granted bail. Rudimentary fact checking would be enough to tell you that no, there are no facts here.
But they'll get reported as facts anyway. Sometimes hero-related stories appear under the banner of entertainment or celebrity news, or if it involves an arena fight it'll show up in the sports section, but by and large capers like the Eagle Bank job are treated exactly the same as a real bank robbery. It seems out of step with the idea of a journalistic obligation to the truth.
Maybe some journalists feel an obligation to a different kind of truth. Maybe they want to report not on the world the way it is, but the way a world with people like gifters in it should be. Maybe by keeping the secret and treating our press releases like they were legitimate stories coming off the wires, they feel like they're part of the action.
Maybe so much of their job involves passing on bullshit without questioning it that choosing to do the same with fun, harmless bullshit makes things better somehow.
Or maybe it's all about the bottom line. Nothing sells like a story about "real" heroes and villains, especially not a story about fake ones.
Even the skeptics prefer the status quo, since it lets them feel smart for being the ones to figure it all out.
Whatever the reason, the headline for the caper reads "LADY LARCENY GOES AFTER EAGLE'S NEST EGG." A lot of my colleagues would be happy to see their name at the top of the page, but I feel like we missed our mark somehow. The story isn't supposed to be that I robbed Eagle Bank; it's that Red Ranger stopped me. The article gives him due credit and mentions that he stuck around to sign autographs and open a new free checking account, but there's my name up top. I feel like I should apologize to him, or something.
Of course, the first write-up I find isn't the only one. The final tally is that three have only my name in the headline, two that only have his, and three where we share billing, though mine comes first in all but one of those. Then there's a rather drab article that omits both of our names and only mentions that "a costumed figure" allegedly attempted to rob the Gateway Mall Eagle Bank location before being stopped "through another such figure utilizing unknown means." Not everyone enjoys the game, even if an editor makes them play along.
There aren't actually nine entirely different articles written on the same caper, of course. The joy of the internet is that you can sometimes find the same article picked up in different places with a slightly (or very) different headlines. Still, it seems like we got decent coverage in the traditional media.
I turn my attention to the less-traditional media next. I want to see if I can find the post that Rick was talking about. I feel pretty sanguine about being declared a Hood, which is what we call the space-filling characters that it doesn't matter who plays them. If the kayfabe-cracking segment of our fandom has decided that Lady Larceny doesn't actually exist, that means good things for my privacy.
There are three major forums that I know of that Rick lurks on but I don't, and I find the guy in question on the first one I check. He's going by X-Poser the Observator, and his signature reads "You see but you do not observe. The distinction is clear." His thread, misleadingly called "LADY LARCENY - UNMASKED!!!!!!!" is only a few days old, but it's already got a dozen pages of replies. That's not really unusual as a lot of the threads get a lot of back and forth conversation going on, but I'm not used to seeing threads devoted to my character getting so much attention in so little time.
The initial post is pretty much what Rick said, but with more bullet points. Larceny never does any publicity. Her performances are more "workmanlike" than other people's, whatever that means. She's never a major player in the bigger plotlines.
I'm gratified to see that the first reply is someone asking if it's so impossible that someone could just prefer to keep her privacy. X-Poser's response to that is "Oh, please. No one goes into this business to be anonymous."
I like the way he says "this business", like he's part of it.
I don't read the whole monster of a thread. I don't have the time or the patience. Well, I don't have the patience. I skim over it. Most of it is the original poster coming back and adding an impressive amount of citations for his specific points. I still don't understand what he means by "workmanlike performances" even after he's added nine separate examples of them.
I completely skip a lot of the pages in the middle, but near the bottom of the second to last one I see one of Rick's aliases saying "Keep the faith, bro. This goes deeper than you know. Take a good hard look at Dosdemona and you'll see what I mean."
Rick likes to fan the flames by encouraging the more bizarre rumors he stumbles across, among both the skeptics and the true believers.
I don't know what he means to accomplish by pointing X-Poser towards Dosdemona, "E-Vil's Dot Matrix Dominatrix". Dos is supposed to be Baron Von Rocket's robot bride, and he kludged her chassis together out of a bunch of deliberately outdated-looking tech.
I've never played her, though. Nobody has. Dos is an actual robot, not a suit. There's no room inside her for an operator, and in fact she's designed to break apart when tragically hit by a stray rocket
X-Poser's reply to Rick points this out, and Rick's reply back says "Yeah, Dosde's a robot. But who says she's the only one?" Ah. That's his game. It doesn't look like X-Poser's buying it, but it was a pretty weak bait to begin with.
Anne comes padding out of the bedroom as I'm finishing up the thread. I don't know where a woman as short as she is finds a robe that doesn't cover her ass, but I hope she never replaces it.
"Good morning," she says. The sleepiness disappears when she spots the muffin in my hand. "Um, get a plate, maybe?"
"It's okay, the counter catches the crumbs that miss my keyboard," I say, which doesn't lessen her scowl but doesn't get a rise out of her, either.
"What are you up to?" she asks instead.
"Just checking out the latest crazy theories about Lady Larceny," I say, since she asked. "Some neckbeard doesn't think I exist. Rick's trying to convince him I'm a robot. I don't think he's biting."
"Well, that's what happens when you reduce the gifter experience to a roleplaying game you put on for the masses," she says. "Your existence as a human being gets erased."
"You shouldn't ask about things you don't want to know about," I tell her.
"Well, I didn't know you were looking at work stuff, that's why I asked. Are you staying home today?"
"Probably. Pretty much. I've kind of got to lie low."
"I've got a speech at South High, and then I'm meeting with some union reps," she says. "The school wanted to know if I'd wear a costume for my presentation. They said it would be more exciting for the kids. I'm trying to teach them that gifters are people just like they are, and they want me to put on a mask. Like, I might as well just put up a wall between..."
"Anne, there's a reason I don't ask for your itinerary," I say. It's harsh but it's true. We're never going to agree about this stuff, and I don't need to hear her bagging on masks like wearing one is the worst thing a gifter could do.
"Sorry, hon," she says. "But I do want you to remember I'm gonna be out of town this weekend."
"Yeah, I know," I say. "I'm sure I'll find something to do."
]
Status: Rough Draft
Word Count: ~1800
Hours Writing: 2
Note: This is the beginning of my draft for Working Class Villain, the follow-up to The Gift of the Bad Guy. If you haven't read that latter book yet this contains some mild spoilers. You can fortify yourself against them by buying the first book from me (PDF and EPUB formats) or Amazon (Kindle format), for a mere 99 cents.
Please note that comments are turned off for a reason... right now I'm posting this for the benefit of the interested/curious rather than to solicit feedback. At this point in the process that would be like asking for directions without telling anyone where I'm heading.
Yesterday, I robbed a bank in the mall.
There was nothing personal about it. It's just my job. It's what they pay me to do. And when I say they, I mean the bank. This was by invitation
They also invited Red Ranger, the guy who took me down. I don't hold that against them. Or against him. It's all part of the gig. When you're a professional villain, you're just born to lose.
Anyone without a clue how the world of heroes and villains really works would probably wonder why the bank would hire someone to rob it. The answer of course is so the good guy has someone to beat. It's a paradox of human nature, but if I show up in my mask and costume and get beat down then everyone assumes the bank is safer than if nobody ever tried to rob it.
It's like those old commercials where they shoot a lock with a sniper rifle. Seeing someone take the shot and failing is more reassuring than being told how tough it is.
The whole thing's a performance. Street theater, basically. Cinéma vérité without the film. Even with some gifted few individuals suddenly showing powers and abilities beyond the ken of mortals, the world still doesn't work like it does in the comic books. So we use a combination of TV shows and live appearances to give people what they expect, and maybe what they need.
[Okay, the above took me a lot of time to write. I'm wrestling with how much intro/recap to do. I think I'm going to go on and plow ahead with the rest with the assumption that everybody who's reading it is reading it after the first book, as though it were a literal continuation... one runs right into the other. When I'm done I'll go back and weave some refreshers in as needed.]
I have to wonder sometimes what runs through the heads of the journalists who cover our capers.
It's possible to get so immersed in the behind-the-scenes stuff and the forums full of people analyzing footage of our fights that you forget that there are people out there who actually buy what we sell them. There are some people who are genuinely fooled. There are some people who go along because they want it to be real. I consider both of those groups to be the True Believers. Then there are the people who play along with a wink and a nod, like they're telling their kids about Santa Claus and the stork.
It doesn't seem like reporters should fall into any of those groups. You can't understand enough about how the world actually works to be an investigative reporter and still be taken in by our little shows.
The police did not arrest an individual identifying herself as Lady Larceny yesterday. No such individual would appear before a judge or be granted bail. Rudimentary fact checking would be enough to tell you that no, there are no facts here.
But they'll get reported as facts anyway. Sometimes hero-related stories appear under the banner of entertainment or celebrity news, or if it involves an arena fight it'll show up in the sports section, but by and large capers like the Eagle Bank job are treated exactly the same as a real bank robbery. It seems out of step with the idea of a journalistic obligation to the truth.
Maybe some journalists feel an obligation to a different kind of truth. Maybe they want to report not on the world the way it is, but the way a world with people like gifters in it should be. Maybe by keeping the secret and treating our press releases like they were legitimate stories coming off the wires, they feel like they're part of the action.
Maybe so much of their job involves passing on bullshit without questioning it that choosing to do the same with fun, harmless bullshit makes things better somehow.
Or maybe it's all about the bottom line. Nothing sells like a story about "real" heroes and villains, especially not a story about fake ones.
Even the skeptics prefer the status quo, since it lets them feel smart for being the ones to figure it all out.
Whatever the reason, the headline for the caper reads "LADY LARCENY GOES AFTER EAGLE'S NEST EGG." A lot of my colleagues would be happy to see their name at the top of the page, but I feel like we missed our mark somehow. The story isn't supposed to be that I robbed Eagle Bank; it's that Red Ranger stopped me. The article gives him due credit and mentions that he stuck around to sign autographs and open a new free checking account, but there's my name up top. I feel like I should apologize to him, or something.
Of course, the first write-up I find isn't the only one. The final tally is that three have only my name in the headline, two that only have his, and three where we share billing, though mine comes first in all but one of those. Then there's a rather drab article that omits both of our names and only mentions that "a costumed figure" allegedly attempted to rob the Gateway Mall Eagle Bank location before being stopped "through another such figure utilizing unknown means." Not everyone enjoys the game, even if an editor makes them play along.
There aren't actually nine entirely different articles written on the same caper, of course. The joy of the internet is that you can sometimes find the same article picked up in different places with a slightly (or very) different headlines. Still, it seems like we got decent coverage in the traditional media.
I turn my attention to the less-traditional media next. I want to see if I can find the post that Rick was talking about. I feel pretty sanguine about being declared a Hood, which is what we call the space-filling characters that it doesn't matter who plays them. If the kayfabe-cracking segment of our fandom has decided that Lady Larceny doesn't actually exist, that means good things for my privacy.
There are three major forums that I know of that Rick lurks on but I don't, and I find the guy in question on the first one I check. He's going by X-Poser the Observator, and his signature reads "You see but you do not observe. The distinction is clear." His thread, misleadingly called "LADY LARCENY - UNMASKED!!!!!!!" is only a few days old, but it's already got a dozen pages of replies. That's not really unusual as a lot of the threads get a lot of back and forth conversation going on, but I'm not used to seeing threads devoted to my character getting so much attention in so little time.
The initial post is pretty much what Rick said, but with more bullet points. Larceny never does any publicity. Her performances are more "workmanlike" than other people's, whatever that means. She's never a major player in the bigger plotlines.
I'm gratified to see that the first reply is someone asking if it's so impossible that someone could just prefer to keep her privacy. X-Poser's response to that is "Oh, please. No one goes into this business to be anonymous."
I like the way he says "this business", like he's part of it.
I don't read the whole monster of a thread. I don't have the time or the patience. Well, I don't have the patience. I skim over it. Most of it is the original poster coming back and adding an impressive amount of citations for his specific points. I still don't understand what he means by "workmanlike performances" even after he's added nine separate examples of them.
I completely skip a lot of the pages in the middle, but near the bottom of the second to last one I see one of Rick's aliases saying "Keep the faith, bro. This goes deeper than you know. Take a good hard look at Dosdemona and you'll see what I mean."
Rick likes to fan the flames by encouraging the more bizarre rumors he stumbles across, among both the skeptics and the true believers.
I don't know what he means to accomplish by pointing X-Poser towards Dosdemona, "E-Vil's Dot Matrix Dominatrix". Dos is supposed to be Baron Von Rocket's robot bride, and he kludged her chassis together out of a bunch of deliberately outdated-looking tech.
I've never played her, though. Nobody has. Dos is an actual robot, not a suit. There's no room inside her for an operator, and in fact she's designed to break apart when tragically hit by a stray rocket
X-Poser's reply to Rick points this out, and Rick's reply back says "Yeah, Dosde's a robot. But who says she's the only one?" Ah. That's his game. It doesn't look like X-Poser's buying it, but it was a pretty weak bait to begin with.
Anne comes padding out of the bedroom as I'm finishing up the thread. I don't know where a woman as short as she is finds a robe that doesn't cover her ass, but I hope she never replaces it.
"Good morning," she says. The sleepiness disappears when she spots the muffin in my hand. "Um, get a plate, maybe?"
"It's okay, the counter catches the crumbs that miss my keyboard," I say, which doesn't lessen her scowl but doesn't get a rise out of her, either.
"What are you up to?" she asks instead.
"Just checking out the latest crazy theories about Lady Larceny," I say, since she asked. "Some neckbeard doesn't think I exist. Rick's trying to convince him I'm a robot. I don't think he's biting."
"Well, that's what happens when you reduce the gifter experience to a roleplaying game you put on for the masses," she says. "Your existence as a human being gets erased."
"You shouldn't ask about things you don't want to know about," I tell her.
"Well, I didn't know you were looking at work stuff, that's why I asked. Are you staying home today?"
"Probably. Pretty much. I've kind of got to lie low."
"I've got a speech at South High, and then I'm meeting with some union reps," she says. "The school wanted to know if I'd wear a costume for my presentation. They said it would be more exciting for the kids. I'm trying to teach them that gifters are people just like they are, and they want me to put on a mask. Like, I might as well just put up a wall between..."
"Anne, there's a reason I don't ask for your itinerary," I say. It's harsh but it's true. We're never going to agree about this stuff, and I don't need to hear her bagging on masks like wearing one is the worst thing a gifter could do.
"Sorry, hon," she says. "But I do want you to remember I'm gonna be out of town this weekend."
"Yeah, I know," I say. "I'm sure I'll find something to do."
]