Thursday, September 6th
Sep. 6th, 2012 11:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alexandraerinThe Daily Report
This morning I had kind of an "aha!" moment when I looked back at what an emotional roller coaster my life has been these past few weeks, from the very high peak where I was doing Tales of MU on time and bringing out Other Tales and had volume 1 book 1 within spitting of Kindle (no progress has been lost there, it just seems a lot further to spit) to the point where everything felt blah and mediocre even though nothing in my life had changed, and I remembered that this pretty much used to be my life.
Then I remembered that during the up, I'd had "too much brain activity to sleep"-type insomnia, and I stopped taking melatonin someone in there because of how unpleasant it feels to be on melatonin when it's not working.
And then I remembered that melatonin seems to level out my moods quite a bit when I'm taking it.
And that I haven't started taking it again.
I don't think this is a "problem solved" moment, but perhaps it's a "well, maybe things might get a little better" one.
The State of the Me
Okay. Slept eight hours last two nights. Had an amazing effect on the clarity of my thinking yesterday.
Dreams From Last Night
I can tell I'm only a few weeks away from air travel, because I had an airport anxiety dream last night. This one, I was flying on a Welsh airline and I couldn't find their check-in counter in the (huge) airport, as they weren't listed on any directory. It had just occurred to me that I should be looking for Welsh-language signs and directories when I woke up. There was also a bit where I needed to scrounge up money for lunch, and I stole a crumpled $10 and $20 bill from a huge pile of money spilling out of a burlap sack that an inattentive security guard (not TSA but classic rent-a-cop) had for people to throw their baggage fees into.
Plans For Today
Yesterday I scrapped a chapter of Tales of MU that had been sort of... shuddering towards completion and started it over again. At the time I scrapped it and started over, I almost decided "Okay, I have a good start, so I can force myself to finish it in the next few hours and then post it." But then I thought again and realized nothing good ever came from forcing a story. So I'm allotting the usual four day cycle, and if it happens to finish early I'll post it, since I'm "off cycle" to begin with.
This morning I had kind of an "aha!" moment when I looked back at what an emotional roller coaster my life has been these past few weeks, from the very high peak where I was doing Tales of MU on time and bringing out Other Tales and had volume 1 book 1 within spitting of Kindle (no progress has been lost there, it just seems a lot further to spit) to the point where everything felt blah and mediocre even though nothing in my life had changed, and I remembered that this pretty much used to be my life.
Then I remembered that during the up, I'd had "too much brain activity to sleep"-type insomnia, and I stopped taking melatonin someone in there because of how unpleasant it feels to be on melatonin when it's not working.
And then I remembered that melatonin seems to level out my moods quite a bit when I'm taking it.
And that I haven't started taking it again.
I don't think this is a "problem solved" moment, but perhaps it's a "well, maybe things might get a little better" one.
The State of the Me
Okay. Slept eight hours last two nights. Had an amazing effect on the clarity of my thinking yesterday.
Dreams From Last Night
I can tell I'm only a few weeks away from air travel, because I had an airport anxiety dream last night. This one, I was flying on a Welsh airline and I couldn't find their check-in counter in the (huge) airport, as they weren't listed on any directory. It had just occurred to me that I should be looking for Welsh-language signs and directories when I woke up. There was also a bit where I needed to scrounge up money for lunch, and I stole a crumpled $10 and $20 bill from a huge pile of money spilling out of a burlap sack that an inattentive security guard (not TSA but classic rent-a-cop) had for people to throw their baggage fees into.
Plans For Today
Yesterday I scrapped a chapter of Tales of MU that had been sort of... shuddering towards completion and started it over again. At the time I scrapped it and started over, I almost decided "Okay, I have a good start, so I can force myself to finish it in the next few hours and then post it." But then I thought again and realized nothing good ever came from forcing a story. So I'm allotting the usual four day cycle, and if it happens to finish early I'll post it, since I'm "off cycle" to begin with.