Monday, September 22nd
Sep. 22nd, 2014 07:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alexandraerinThe State of the Me
As you know if you've been following this blog, I had a rough weekend. This morning was easier than yesterday morning, better. I had a bit of wistfulness when I realized that I wasn't sad or disappointed. I joked to friends yesterday that I've moved from the third stage of grieving, insufferable cleverness, to the fourth, metacognitive awareness. I don't for one second imagine I'm done being surprised by grief. I expect this to be a back and forth, up and down process. Like the progress of the planets through the houses of the sky, there's going to be retrograde looping even while the general path is moving ever onward.
I made a post late last night about the nature of plans and how we spend the time that we have.
Even before Dorian died, I was thinking about what I'd been doing with my life and more particularly, what I have done lately... and more particularly than that, what I haven't been doing. We've just recently started to make big strides in making this house into a home and not just a place where we sleep and store our stuff. If home is where you hang your hat, then last week was the first time I've been home in years... I now have hat racks on my walls and doors, and a dozen of my hats now finally have a place of pride in my life and living space that reflects their importance to my self-image.
It probably would have been easy to let Dorian's death put a stop to my forward momentum, but I needed physical things to distract me, and there was no end of them to do. Saturday afternoon, I spent a lot of time cleaning. Saturday night after the symphony and then again Sunday, I did the first real bit of serious set-up I'd done in my office since getting my desk inside the room and getting my computer unpacked. What I had worked, it was sufficient in the sense of meeting the minimum practical requirements... but it wasn't good. It wasn't very cozy. It didn't make good use of what is a really nice space.
My office is no longer in the darkest corner of a big airy room. My desk -- actually an oak table gifted to me by my parents on the occasion of my move -- fits very nicely between the two outer windows of a three-window bay. It's better than a corner office, really. I have sunshine and fresh air on a nice day. In fact, while the sun wasn't up yet when I first woke up, it looks like it's a nice day now... bright if a bit chilly, and I like the chill. I'm going to open the windows before I continue.
The Daily Report
I'd been thinking about what I want and need out of my career, too. Before Dorian died, I had planned to spend much of the weekend making a push on Adventure Song, and then continuing that throughout the work week.
I've wanted to create and publish roleplaying games since I was 10 years old. It's been something I've wanted to do for longer continuous period of time than I've known I wanted to write fiction. It's certainly occupied quite a bit of my time as a hobby over the years. Even when I'm not blogging about it, I'm still usually spending some time most days thinking about it, drafting out ideas, mocking up rules, et cetera.
Adventure Song was conceived of as a project suitably ambitious to hold my interest, but small enough that I could bring it to fruition. I'll post more about it and my plan of action throughout the week, but it's time for it to bear fruit.
Plans For Today
During the first 48 hours, I needed ways to keep my body busy to give my mind a respite. Now I think it's my mind's time to be occupied.
I'm going to be doing three main things today. First, I'm going to be working on the omnibus. Last week's internet issues took a lot of the wind out of my sales on finishing Omnibus VI, which concludes the collection of Tales of MU Volume 1. I can still finish it within this month by acting now. That's my first duty of the day.
Second, I'm going to be working on Adventure Song. There will be a post about this week's activities.
Third, I'm going to be working during the afternoon on Tales of MU: prepping today's chapter, seeding this week's writing. This is the week I hit my full stride again.
As you know if you've been following this blog, I had a rough weekend. This morning was easier than yesterday morning, better. I had a bit of wistfulness when I realized that I wasn't sad or disappointed. I joked to friends yesterday that I've moved from the third stage of grieving, insufferable cleverness, to the fourth, metacognitive awareness. I don't for one second imagine I'm done being surprised by grief. I expect this to be a back and forth, up and down process. Like the progress of the planets through the houses of the sky, there's going to be retrograde looping even while the general path is moving ever onward.
I made a post late last night about the nature of plans and how we spend the time that we have.
Even before Dorian died, I was thinking about what I'd been doing with my life and more particularly, what I have done lately... and more particularly than that, what I haven't been doing. We've just recently started to make big strides in making this house into a home and not just a place where we sleep and store our stuff. If home is where you hang your hat, then last week was the first time I've been home in years... I now have hat racks on my walls and doors, and a dozen of my hats now finally have a place of pride in my life and living space that reflects their importance to my self-image.
It probably would have been easy to let Dorian's death put a stop to my forward momentum, but I needed physical things to distract me, and there was no end of them to do. Saturday afternoon, I spent a lot of time cleaning. Saturday night after the symphony and then again Sunday, I did the first real bit of serious set-up I'd done in my office since getting my desk inside the room and getting my computer unpacked. What I had worked, it was sufficient in the sense of meeting the minimum practical requirements... but it wasn't good. It wasn't very cozy. It didn't make good use of what is a really nice space.
My office is no longer in the darkest corner of a big airy room. My desk -- actually an oak table gifted to me by my parents on the occasion of my move -- fits very nicely between the two outer windows of a three-window bay. It's better than a corner office, really. I have sunshine and fresh air on a nice day. In fact, while the sun wasn't up yet when I first woke up, it looks like it's a nice day now... bright if a bit chilly, and I like the chill. I'm going to open the windows before I continue.
The Daily Report
I'd been thinking about what I want and need out of my career, too. Before Dorian died, I had planned to spend much of the weekend making a push on Adventure Song, and then continuing that throughout the work week.
I've wanted to create and publish roleplaying games since I was 10 years old. It's been something I've wanted to do for longer continuous period of time than I've known I wanted to write fiction. It's certainly occupied quite a bit of my time as a hobby over the years. Even when I'm not blogging about it, I'm still usually spending some time most days thinking about it, drafting out ideas, mocking up rules, et cetera.
Adventure Song was conceived of as a project suitably ambitious to hold my interest, but small enough that I could bring it to fruition. I'll post more about it and my plan of action throughout the week, but it's time for it to bear fruit.
Plans For Today
During the first 48 hours, I needed ways to keep my body busy to give my mind a respite. Now I think it's my mind's time to be occupied.
I'm going to be doing three main things today. First, I'm going to be working on the omnibus. Last week's internet issues took a lot of the wind out of my sales on finishing Omnibus VI, which concludes the collection of Tales of MU Volume 1. I can still finish it within this month by acting now. That's my first duty of the day.
Second, I'm going to be working on Adventure Song. There will be a post about this week's activities.
Third, I'm going to be working during the afternoon on Tales of MU: prepping today's chapter, seeding this week's writing. This is the week I hit my full stride again.
no subject
on 2014-09-22 04:17 pm (UTC)