Music, and the Impersistence of Memory

[alexandraerin]

s00j concert was perfectly lovely. s00j was perfectly lovely, as well.

I used to feel slightly embarrassed that when I thought about my favorite ones of her songs (and it must be plural, because with a body of work that has as much breadth and depth as Ms. Tucker's, it's difficult to have one single favorite), my mind invariably goes to songs that are at the very least co-compositions of stealthcello, (Alligator In The House, Tough Titty Cupcakes, and I believe The Notorious Salad of Doom) or are the songs she's written as companion pieces inspired by the work of yuki_onna ("Taglio!", the entire Palimpsest album, "City of Marrow"... really, too many to name).

But of course, this is silly. Art cannot exist in a vacuum any more than fire can. Musicians know this. That's why they jam, and why they cover, and why they share. It's why it's important that authors read for pleasure, and that we experience stories in other media. Cross-pollination. Hybridization. Good stuff. The way Cat and s00j play their creativity off each other has got to enrich them both immeasurably. s00j has been premiering a song she wrote based on a painting by this artist as part of kylecassidy's massive collaboration meme. Every song she writes has a seed somewhere. Whether it's in a random phrase someone said ("Ravens in the Library"... which just might elbow its way into a top slot in my head if I can hear it enough times for it to stick) or a painting or a book, it's still her creative genius that's grabbing the reins.

As s00j herself said of one of her songs that has now become a Tricky Pixie song, "it's like my little song is growing up."

So, yeah. Creativity good. Collaboration good.

Anyway, on the subject of things that are slightly embarrassing... I may have said this a few times before, but since it came up again tonight, it bears repeating (or possibly saying for the first time). If I meet you somewhere, and then you see me again, please introduce yourself and remind me where I know you from. I'm not pulling a e-celebrity diva thing, I swear. It's an "everybody's brain is wired different" thing. I honestly don't remember people very well. It isn't personal. I know s00j and omnisti when I go to their gigs because they're always doing s00j and omnisti things when I get there. If they hired a couple of other skinny white people to mess around with guitars and speakers before the concert, I'd never know. At family gatherings around the holidays and such I end up doing a lot of smiling and nodding until I catch on to who it is I'm talking to.

Knowing I am going to inevitably make a giant fool out of myself has generally kept me away from large public gatherings as an adult, once it was in my power to avoid such things. But as I learned from one of my beloved train family from back in March has taught me, it's far less embarrassing to just flat out be honest about it. So, I re-met a very nice person whose name I think she said was Aggie (that could be wrong as I didn't think to write it down until I was in the car, sadly) who was at the concert at bryirfox's and I met another person named Lora (I think for the first time) who heard about the concert here because she is a gamer and she reads my blog, and now that I've written about them I'm much more likely to remember who they are, though I still probably won't recognize them on sight.

This is not a judgment on anyone's relative worth as a person. It's not something I can just "try harder" and overcome... believe me, I've tried, and I'm learning tricks to get better at it. It's just the way my brain works, and the way it doesn't work.

The phrase "admitting you have a problem is the first step" is a bit trite, but that doesn't mean it isn't true. It doesn't always accomplish anything on its own, but it's necessary... you can't come up with plans to tackle a problem if you don't recognize its existence. I'm learning to use reminders (via my computer and my phone)... tonight, for instance, I had one set up to tell me to thank s00j and omnisti for bearing some wristbands to our folks at WisCon, and one to ask them to convey my personal thanks to Betsy Tinney for supporting me.

Well, actually, the first one just said "Thank omnisti". I spent a good portion of the concert trying to figure out what I was supposed to thank him for and wondering if he would find it weird if I told him thanks for whatever he did for me and asked him if he remembered what it was. Still learning how to make the most of this reminder thing. Getting an unrelated text message from popelizbet is what jarred that memory loose, since she was in charge of wristband distribution.

You folks who read this know how much I value popelizbet. When next we meet in person... and we will... if she's not already wearing a nametag, she's going to have to remind me who she is. Likewise with Cat Valente, who I mention roughly a million times a day. So it really is nothing personal. That's just how it is. I can be slightly embarrassed and admit it or I can live my life in terror of being terribly embarrassed by not recognizing dear friends and end up hiding from them, and by extension, life.

Comments

[jupiterrhode.livejournal.com]

I find this completely fascinating. An online friend of my has Synesthesia, which I could spend just hours talking to her about. My dad is color blind, which I finally got him to talk about to me for the first time. These types of things just make want to pry people open to see how they work. I should be a doctor.

Or possibly a serial killer. I should make one of those arrow spinners to decide.

[arielstarshadow.livejournal.com]

One thing that might help with the face-name recognition is to take pictures of the people, and then put them somewhere along with their name. Then, you can open a file on your computer and look at the picture of the face and the name at the same time. :)

[bryirfox.livejournal.com]

Yes it was Aggie.
I would have gone but I had tickets to be @ Lacuna Coil in KC before I knew s00j was coming.

It made me sad. Then 1/2 thru the concert my body decided to get evil on me and I ended up passed out in the car for Lacuna Coils whole set.


At least I got to meet them before the concert.

[hps-sterling.livejournal.com]

Hi, my name is Sterling and I am cognitively impaired due to brain trauma....Gods that sounds so horrible! But in reality, it is just something I deal with.

Bless Google calendar, my left hand (for note taking by my right), and for my now obsessive need for organization so I don't lose things.

I'm not sure how it works for you, but I have a spatial issue that makes facial recognition not work right. I may hear the name but the person could talk to me for a few minutes before I can piece it together with their face. I think everyone should wear nametags with a short blurb about how I know you.

Thank you very much for the bracelets! I got mine at WisCon and it was really cool.

[alexandraerin.livejournal.com]

E hugs dot com.

You are the wind beneath my shapeless gibbering things.

[nerdsonparade.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, you were meeting me (Lora) for the first time, I promise :) - I'm a frequent lurker and reader of your stories and D&D-related LJ posts, but that was the first time meeting me in person. And don't worry about not recognizing me should we run into each other again - I won't be offended, as my problem is somewhat similar, but the complete opposite - I never forget a face, but I'm absolutely and irrevocably horrible with names.

Hopefully next time S00j is in the Lincoln-Omaha area, I'll wander over to that concert and run into you again. :)

[gillian-y.livejournal.com]

I have the same problem remembering people I meet and even family members that I didn't grow up with. If I see and talk to a person on a daily basis for several days I might start recognizing them, maybe.

Once a new coworker changed clothes to go home walked away from the store I work at in the mall, came back like five minutes later and asked me a question about what time she was supposed to come in the next day and I did not recognize her even though I had just spent four hours with her.

[darksidex.livejournal.com]

It's remotely possible you have prosopagnosia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia

Just something to be considered.

[alexandraerin.livejournal.com]

It's interesting reading, but I'm not actually that interested in attaching a diagnosis to myself at this point in my life.

[hnmic.livejournal.com]

Hi! One day I'll meet you again, and I think I'll be evil and mean and tell you my name is Clyde, and we met in Cleveland.

[alexandraerin.livejournal.com]

That would be evil, because I have been to Cleveland exactly once and it was for a vaguely school-related function and so I did end up meeting a lot of people in a drive-by fashion.

It doesn't help anything at all that I'm a genuinely memorable sort of person.

[hnmic.livejournal.com]

Muwahahaa!

no, I don't think I could really do that. I'd fail. i'd end up telling you half an hour later and submitting to being beaten with an umbrella or something.

[popelizbet.livejournal.com]

Aww, honey, thank you. Don't worry, I won't give you ish for not recognizing my mug, just so long as you keep recognizing my Papacy. ;P

[alexandraerin.livejournal.com]

As long as you keep giving me those annulments, we won't have a problem.

[popelizbet.livejournal.com]

If I don't, are you going to steal all the money off the monasteries and start beheading people?

[alexandraerin.livejournal.com]

No, I can definitely promise you I'm not going to start beheading people.

[popelizbet.livejournal.com]

Are you going to continue beheading people?

[alexandraerin.livejournal.com]

What kind of message would it send if I stopped now? That it's somehow "okay" for my enemies to go around, all capitated?