Self-induced headaches.

[alexandraerin]

I'm going to the doctor in a little bit. I feel a bit like I'm approaching the confessional. Just this morning I ended up engaging with someone in a way that did nothing but aggravate me and doubtlessly gave them a sense of smug self-satisfaction.

Here's my new personal checklist that I'm going to strive to consult before I spend time, breath, and heartbeats on heated conversation:

1. Is what I'm about to do going to result in any improvement for me, personally?
2. Is it likely to change anything about the person I'm engaging with?
3. Is it going to make the world a noticeably better place?
4. Could I be doing something else instead that would have a better chance of improving things for myself, others, and/or the world at large?

While I absolutely believe that there are things that are worth fighting for, things that are worth standing up for, and things that need to be said... there is nothing that's worth fruitlessly banging one's head against the wall over. My head's got better things to do.

Comments

[hnmic.livejournal.com]

I highly recommend adopting a "meh" approach to all forms of contact in life. much less stressful.

[alexandraerin.livejournal.com]

Meh.

[hnmic.livejournal.com]

exactly.

[mazzon.livejournal.com]

Sure, that'll stop you from getting stressed over what people say but in the long run it'll also cost you as any hypothetical friends and suchlike learn to not even try to talk to you about anything as you're not really listening anyway.
My advice would be to save the 'meh' for random strangers and people you do know but still don't give a rat's ass about.

Oh, and feel free to omit posting the meh-reply to this. It's assumed anyway.

[centauress.livejournal.com]

Well, I rather feed on the stress, as it is a form of excitement. But not everyone gets a positive boost from it.

What I do to limit my stressful interactions is a little bit different. For instance, if I'm trying to get a point across or information from a forum, I restrict my visits to once or twice a day - no more. Once I've read and written a reply; I will re-read my reply and edit it, but I will not add another one until the next day. That allows everyone to have their say and less chance of a back and forth steaming argument.

Another thing is to work hard not to get worked up about insults. If I get worked up about them, I will report the action to some authority and then avoid the forum (or game) until a day or more has passed.

Of course, letting go is difficult, but I've found rationing helps me. Maybe it'll help you, too. I hope you do find what works for you!

[matt_doyle]

While I agree with that set of criteria, I also saw the thread in question. You kicked ass in style.

[janewilliams20.livejournal.com]

Good luck with that. From personal experience, try to also avoid drafting your rebuttal (and their response) in your head, and generally brooding over it. This does blood pressure no good at all. Instead, pay a quick visit here. http://icanhascheezburger.com/

[alexandraerin.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeh, you have nailed my problem. Even when I don't go over and engage with them, I'm still doing it in my head. Not helpful.