Briefly: On The Importance Of Word Order
Feb. 25th, 2010 11:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alexandraerinPop quiz:
Q.: What's the difference between someone you see using a device to assist their mobility or an accommodation for people with disabilities who doesn't obviously need it and one who obviously doesn't need it?
A.: Nothing that you can tell by looking.
Therefore, if you find yourself saying something along the lines of "It makes me mad when I see someone using a wheelchair/motorized cart/priority bus seat when they obviously don't need it." or "Motorized carts are fine for people who need them, but most of the people I see using them are just lazy", you might want to stop talking as the sounds that are coming out of your mouth are clearly gibberish and you're in danger of embarrassing yourself.
For extra credit:
Q.: Under what circumstances is it appropriate to mock/snark/judge/stare at/comment on/interrogate somebody using such an accommodation or assistive device?
A.: Never.
Not even if you've seen the same person walk, stand unaided for a long period of time, or dance a merry jig... the world doesn't divide neatly into perfectly able-bodied people and people who need devices to aid their mobility all the time. You don't know what it cost that person to dance a jig or why it was worth it to them to do so. You don't know what trade-offs they're making every time they decide to do something you do for granted or accept what assistance is available.
If you judge someone for using a scooter or cane after you saw them go ballroom dancing, what is the lesson that you (as one small part of a larger society that is also sending this message) are sending people? That some people have fun and other people have wheelchairs, but nobody gets to have both?
Not even if the person is fat, to a degree that you--with your in-depth medical training and ability to take in a person's medical history with a glance--have determined is unhealthy, their fault, and easily fixed by anyone with willpower. Seriously. You don't know why your fellow shoppers might be using a motorized cart. You don't know why their bodies are shaped like they are. The only thing those two things are guaranteed to have in common is that neither one is any of your business*.
Not even if you're doing it in private, at home, with only one other person who knows that you don't have any prejudice against those with disabilities and wouldn't be mocking/judging without good reason. First, even if you're alone you're not doing this in isolation. You're participating in (and reinforcing and spreading) a larger meme, one that has actual consequences for real people. Second, your judgment does not magically become more insightful, necessary, or appropriate just because you waited to get home to express it. Third, if you couldn't conceal your scorn any longer than it took you to get to an audience you know will be sympathetic and appreciative of it, what makes you think you were concealing it that well in the first place?
The fat person on the scooter at Wal-Mart, the person without any crutches or cane who plops down in the priority seat, the person who explains how their chronic pain, depression, or anxiety disorder impacts their life one day while talking about how much fun they had doing A Thing That People Do the next day... these are all pretty much considered to be "socially acceptable targets". Snarking them isn't being edgy, it's buying into a mindset that is relentlessly mainstream and conformist. Someone calling you on snarking them isn't calling "The PC Police" on you or oppressing you... if marginalized people did have a police force and the power to oppress, they wouldn't be marginalized.
*I say "guaranteed" because someone might point out that the two things could be related; i.e., the same medical condition that limits mobility might be directly or indirectly contributing to the individual's weight. But you know what? It's still nobody else's businesses, and a person doesn't need that kind of "excuse" to be fat and have a disability at the same time.
Q.: What's the difference between someone you see using a device to assist their mobility or an accommodation for people with disabilities who doesn't obviously need it and one who obviously doesn't need it?
A.: Nothing that you can tell by looking.
Therefore, if you find yourself saying something along the lines of "It makes me mad when I see someone using a wheelchair/motorized cart/priority bus seat when they obviously don't need it." or "Motorized carts are fine for people who need them, but most of the people I see using them are just lazy", you might want to stop talking as the sounds that are coming out of your mouth are clearly gibberish and you're in danger of embarrassing yourself.
For extra credit:
Q.: Under what circumstances is it appropriate to mock/snark/judge/stare at/comment on/interrogate somebody using such an accommodation or assistive device?
A.: Never.
Not even if you've seen the same person walk, stand unaided for a long period of time, or dance a merry jig... the world doesn't divide neatly into perfectly able-bodied people and people who need devices to aid their mobility all the time. You don't know what it cost that person to dance a jig or why it was worth it to them to do so. You don't know what trade-offs they're making every time they decide to do something you do for granted or accept what assistance is available.
If you judge someone for using a scooter or cane after you saw them go ballroom dancing, what is the lesson that you (as one small part of a larger society that is also sending this message) are sending people? That some people have fun and other people have wheelchairs, but nobody gets to have both?
Not even if the person is fat, to a degree that you--with your in-depth medical training and ability to take in a person's medical history with a glance--have determined is unhealthy, their fault, and easily fixed by anyone with willpower. Seriously. You don't know why your fellow shoppers might be using a motorized cart. You don't know why their bodies are shaped like they are. The only thing those two things are guaranteed to have in common is that neither one is any of your business*.
Not even if you're doing it in private, at home, with only one other person who knows that you don't have any prejudice against those with disabilities and wouldn't be mocking/judging without good reason. First, even if you're alone you're not doing this in isolation. You're participating in (and reinforcing and spreading) a larger meme, one that has actual consequences for real people. Second, your judgment does not magically become more insightful, necessary, or appropriate just because you waited to get home to express it. Third, if you couldn't conceal your scorn any longer than it took you to get to an audience you know will be sympathetic and appreciative of it, what makes you think you were concealing it that well in the first place?
The fat person on the scooter at Wal-Mart, the person without any crutches or cane who plops down in the priority seat, the person who explains how their chronic pain, depression, or anxiety disorder impacts their life one day while talking about how much fun they had doing A Thing That People Do the next day... these are all pretty much considered to be "socially acceptable targets". Snarking them isn't being edgy, it's buying into a mindset that is relentlessly mainstream and conformist. Someone calling you on snarking them isn't calling "The PC Police" on you or oppressing you... if marginalized people did have a police force and the power to oppress, they wouldn't be marginalized.
*I say "guaranteed" because someone might point out that the two things could be related; i.e., the same medical condition that limits mobility might be directly or indirectly contributing to the individual's weight. But you know what? It's still nobody else's businesses, and a person doesn't need that kind of "excuse" to be fat and have a disability at the same time.
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no subject
on 2010-02-26 10:16 pm (UTC)The response I got was basically "WTF no you don't, if you did you wouldn't be having this conversation or any of the other conversations we've been having for the last couple days and you don't seem shy at all anyway."
It was... challenging trying to explain it to them in a way they would understand. I acclimate myself to new situations and people pretty damn fast, the anxiety precedes them, prevents me from seeking them out or accepting offers. In person after I've warmed up I am a charming, chatty, conversationalist who can sling a mean pun.
So, I was being told that I don't experience anything out of the norm, that I have no excuse, that everyone is nervous. Well, that may be true but I doubt the average person is routinely anxious to the point of rendering themselves bedridden to avoid the unknown, as I have been in the past.
That was longer than I wanted to make it... oh god I'm making it worse!!!
no subject
on 2010-02-27 02:41 am (UTC)